Never Inferior: The Essential Self-Defense Mindset

“The Way of the warrior does not permit you to accept an inferior position to anything.” 
​-Miyamoto Mushashi

The Most Critical Piece in Self-Defense

One’s mindset when it comes to self-defense, and fighting in general, may be the most crucial piece. I often say in my self-defense seminars that when confronted, you must go from perceived prey to primary predator. If someone has singled you out to try and take advantage of you in some way, it was because they believed that they had some sort of advantage over you. Whether this comes in the form of...

• size/strength advantage,
• element of surprise (caught you unaware or not paying attention to your surroundings),
• or an environmental opportunity ( you are simply alone with no one else around you),

... they believe that they have the upper hand or they would not have engaged with you. You need to flip the script on them really quick, and let them know that they made a grave, miscalculation about you. 

Those who attack others, who have done nothing to them, with the intent of doing them harm in some way are cowards. Bullies in the very worst sense. Reveal the coward in them. Do not accept an inferior position to them. Fight back with absolute anger and aggression. This person took it upon themselves to judge that your life/well-being/happiness/future was not important. Does that not anger you?

• That some jackass, who you’ve never met, has deemed it fit that they are going to beat and rob you?
• That some low life piece of scum thinks that they have a right to do whatever they want to with your body?
• That they could make it so that you’ll never see your husband, wife, children, pets, friends, or loved ones ever again?
• That their few minutes of pleasure or malice leads to your complete cessation of hopes, dreams, and a future?

If that doesn’t boil your blood, then I don’t know what else will! Rapists are thinking about no one but themselves. Murderers care about no one’s life but their own. Those who would beat or rob you care nothing about your physical or mental state, or the possible trauma that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life as the result of that incident. It’s selfishness to the extreme at your expense. You, who were doing nothing wrong to begin with. You, who were simply minding your own business, trying to get home after a long day at work. You, who were just walking out to your car after getting some groceries. You, who were just out for a jog to improve your health. You, who were being peaceful, not causing a problem with anyone, gets beat, raped, stabbed, shot, killed. 

Find YOUR Reason to Fight

Many people at my seminars have never hit anything or anyone before. They often say, “I just don’t know if I could do that to a person.” I understand where they are coming from, but I really need them to take a moment and deeply visualize the alternative. Imagine the worst case scenario. Find your reason to fight. Everyone needs to be connected and able to call upon that reason to fight when it counts.

• If someone were trying to murder your kids, could you fight?
• If someone were beating your spouse to death, could you fight?
• What lights that spark within you? Find it.

​I, myself, honestly don’t need a whole lot of reason to want to fight; I am a bit hot tempered by nature. The minute someone lays a hand on me without my consent, my anger and blood pressure go through the roof, and I’m ready to see them to the great beyond if I have to. I work hard for my health, I care deeply for my friends and family, I have always held firm to the ideal of fulfilling my utmost potential and purpose in life, and no one is going to take that away from me without me giving every ounce of life in my body to defend it. Things happen, surprise attacks happen, weapons happen, I know that. But if the circumstances present themselves in a way that I have the ability to fight, get away, and keep living the life I want, you better believe I’m going to do it. Scared, hurt, wounded, fatigued, bleeding, broken, or bruised, I am going to fight. There is no other way. I tell myself daily, that there is no other way. I can only pray that if the moment comes, I’ll see it through. I have never been in that type of moment before, so cannot say with 100% certainty that I know what I’d do. But, I’d like to believe that I am much better prepared to see my vision through by training in some way every single day. Much more so than if I had not given it a serious thought my entire life until it happened. But, I realize that not everyone is like that, and that’s ok. That’s where training comes in, that’s where visualization comes in, that’s where daily reflections on what you hold dear to your heart and would never want taken away from you can help you to start building up this mind frame of never accepting inferiority to anyone or anything. These are the things that fan the flames of that spark and turn it into a raging fire when it is needed.     

Practice to Prepare

At the end of each of my seminars, I have participants go through a couple of drills. One is where I suit up in protective equipment, give them some gloves, and for 45 seconds, I come after them trying to grab them by the wrists, bear hug them, take them down, carry them off, and let them react to this scenario and get free however they can. The other drill is where I just hold a bodyshield and have them attack it as hard as they can for 30 seconds. Just to see what 30 seconds of all out attacking feels like. I tell them not to try and throw every technique they know because that’s not the goal. The goal is simply to hit and not stop hitting as hard and as fast as they can. I don’t care what that looks like! It is during this time that I can help gauge what their hardest hitting moves are (some people have a strong right punch that they’ll throw over and over, I’ve had others grab me around the neck and knee me like there was no tomorrow, some immediately go in with hard elbows), and provide them with honest feedback as to what I personally think their strongest weapon is as of right now. 

The other big piece of this is to practice exactly what I’ve been writing about in this post. Before they glove up and get ready for their 30 seconds of fury, I want them to take a minute and try to visualize a scenario in their mind that would help bring them to that mindset of anger and aggression.

• What scenarios come to mind that would cause them to want to fight and fight hard?
• What would have to take place or happen? 

I have been very impressed over the years with what some people do during this drill. I’ve even asked some participants, who I thought were really channeling that anger and aggression from a concrete source, what that source might be. For one participant, it was her children. She imagined that she had to fight and protect them from being hurt because she never wanted her children being taken away from her like that. Another woman had channeled the rage she felt from an abusive past relationship and how she never wanted to feel that way again from anyone. I truly believe that if either of these women were confronted by someone, who wished to do them harm, that they would be able to use those thoughts and feelings again to their advantage. Perpetrators of a crime want an easy target. They want low risk, and high reward. Neither of these women would have been an easy target fighting with the relentlessness and anger that they displayed. That warrior spirit in and of itself is quite intimidating. When someone can feel that you are more concentrated on hurting them, rather than being worried about being hurt yourself, that is a real eye opener that makes the attacker’s inward coward want to disengage and go the other way. Cultivating that, in my opinion, is worth more than all of the techniques in the world when the moment counts. The founder of Shotokan Karate, Gichin Funkakoshi once said, “Spirit first, technique second.” Having that do-or-die spirit behind just a basic punch over and over can be enough to fight off a would be attacker. Having that mindset/spirit is what gives life and power to any technique you learn. The great swordsman, Miyamoto Musashi, often talked about overwhelming the enemy with your “spirit” and I believe that this is exactly what he was referring to. Overwhelm those who wish to do you harm with your aggression, your conviction, your singularity of purpose to inflict harm upon them.     

You need to know that your life is worth fighting for.

Your happiness is worth keeping.

Your safety, health, and future are worth preserving at all costs.

​Accepting that there is real danger out there and making this decision that you are worth fighting for are the first steps in having the right mindset, of not accepting inferiority to anything or anyone. If you are confronted, it will be scary. Fear can grip you. Your heart will be racing. Your adrenaline will be surging. That is the moment where most will find out if they fly, fight, or freeze. I want you right now to plant the seed in your mind that you will fly if you are able to and fight until your last breath if you are not. Plant that seed and continue to water it with visualizations, daily affirmations, and physical training so that it will grow into something mighty. Tomorrow is never promised to us. None of us can see into the future or know what the events of the next day will hold. Therefore, the time to commit to yourself, your safety, and your future is now. You have too much to accomplish, too much to experience, too much life to live and love to give to ever accept inferiority under any circumstances. Today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your life, may you be- never inferior. 

                                                                                                     -Don